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Yep that sums it up.  It’s not the holidays bumming me out.  It’s my novel.

My personal stuff was my father went in the hospital for a few days but he’s okay now.  Well, he’s back to his upset normal grumpy self so yeah, he’s fine.

After that I thought it might be the holidays bumming me out or the shear fact so many things were happening at the same time.  It wasn’t.

I went to Errol and Debs for some inspiring something and that didn’t work.  Though I have to admit the new tune on their site is catchy.  *hums it to myself*

I love my novel.  I love my characters.  I love the story and the upside down twists.

It’s just I hate writing.

Really.  The whole spend hours and hours writing only to ditch most of it in the re-drafts.  Or to add more to it not planned.  I’m not drained.  I feel like I could write at any given second.  SHoot tomorrow I have it set up so I end up at McDonald’s with nothing to do but write for three hours.  I’m hoping that helps.

I wish I loved it.  I wish writing was dreamy and filled with awesome thoughts.  It isn’t.  I guess if I was in a band maybe it would be this way too.  I mean I might like singing on a stage but not the process of coming up with songs.  OR I might like writing a catchy tune but not the whole met your fans moments.  I love parts of writing a novel.  I really do.  And there are the parts I hate.  Re-drafts and endless time with it.  Like it might never end.

Ever been in a room waiting for a doctor and been sick?  or waiting for the prescription to get filled?  yeah.  The time ticks by second after second.  You know it moves but as you sniff or wipe away more nasal mucus, it is never fast enough.

Yeah like that.  It never ends.  I know it’s going to.  I can see myself with it moving forward.  Each word a step closer.  Each chapter one moment nearer to published.  Never really there though.  Always one step away.  One moment closer is still one moment not there.

So it’s just another day of what not and what isn’t and I’m not writing.  Now the darn dog is whining to go out and I have to hurry up my post.  Blah.. Blah… Blah.. nite.